leej – Page 2

IVF isn’t cheap. For each cycle (period reset to one transfer of viable embryos), the following may be involved

$9,800 for the main stuff provided by the office, start to finish
$3,000-7,000 for drugs, depending on her body and needs
$1,000 for miscellaneous costs
$500-$2,500 optional testing, depending on couple’s susceptibility to genetic deformities

This is all before normal pregnancy costs. So you can understand why many couples choose to only do IVF once.

They offered us a few other options:

Pay ~$20k for two cycles to guarantee a you bring home a baby or you get 50% back
~$35k for three cycles to guarantee a baby or 100% back

We really don’t have much interest in those two options. The incentives on the “insurance company” (for lack of better terms) don’t seem to line up with ours.

We want children. Plural. “Bring home a baby” seems to provide the option that they get paid two cycles worth of work for one cycle success. And their guarantee is based on medical criteria, which are unknown to us, but we know we’re approved.

So those criteria could be anything. Jordan is a healthy woman. She makes eggs consistently, and a “healthy egg-producing woman” could be the criteria for approval. Because a woman who can produce many eggs has a MUCH higher chance of having a baby than on who does not, thereby statistically solidifying the financial success of the insurance company.

So we’re going to go one cycle at a time. We’re going to rely on the fact the lab worker can accurately find a sperm in the sample and plant it in each of the eggs. And we’re going to assume Jordan can create 8+ in the cycle, which means we may have some behind.

If those assumptions aren’t true, we’ll have to re-think our approach.

However, if they are true and we have viable leftover eggs after the first transition, then we’ll freeze the eggs for $500/year and come back 12-20 months later for a second transfer ($2,900 + $500-1000 in drugs to prepare for transfer).

We think we’re playing the numbers.

If both transfers are successful, and we have multiple children, and there are still viable embryos left, then we’re in a bit of an unknown area, because we don’t want to leave any viable ones in the freezer.

So for now, about all we can do about that is let go of control, and let God guide the process.

Some people have children. We don’t. We were married later in life than either of us expected. Though if we’d met sooner, there is little chance we would have noticed each other.

So we chose not to stop the potential for having children after getting married.

Seriously. The number of condoms we have successfully used is one. She’s never used an IUD or birth control pill.

And no children.

As people who like to think we understand science, we figured “Two healthy people will eventually make a baby.” This assumption has so far proven untrue.

About 18 months ago, we started to investigate why.

Tests revealed I had low count, morphology, and movement, the unholy triumvirate of impacts on child-wanting men. Her test suggested she was doing pretty good.

So we investigated fixes for me. Our best chance was a surgery to remove varicoceles from the veins in my sack that were keeping temperatures too high for useful sperm to develop.

I went under the knife in October. In January, we discovered it hadn’t really changed much. Doctor said things could get better for up to a year. Subsequent tests haven’t revealed much progress.

So I’ve done what I can. Despite the problem being mine (or mostly with me), there isn’t much more we can do at our ages and expect an outcome different from what we’ve gotten.

So into the serious stuff (and sacrifices for her).

At our ages (me 32 and her 34), the best viable (and most expensive) option is IVF. At the basic level, she

gets drugs that put her monthly cycle on a plan that the doctors can control
more drugs to increase egg production for the month
sore ovaries, because EACH is producing 5-10x the number it should
an ultrasound, combined with an egg retrieval device snaked from outside her body to the ovaries, to collect viable eggs
5 days of waiting on pins and needles
another procedure and invasion of her intimate spaces to put viable blastocysts back in her
waiting and finger crossing that one or two will implant and begin a pregnancy

All of that before starting what other women deal with as part of a natural pregnancy.

For a woman who prefers to keep to herself, I can’t imagine sacrificing much more to become a mother.

Things of course don’t end there, but this entry does.