Author: jordan

This blog probably could’ve been more therapeutic for me had I chosen to write my thoughts and feelings down more instead of letting worries run rampant in my brain, but I’m still working on that.

But also had I done that then it would’ve appeared as the ravings of a mad woman.

I’ve done all my shots and appointments that were on my calendar and now I just get to wait. I was told that someone would call me today with further instructions and to not panic if I haven’t heard from anyone by 5.

Um, hi, it’s almost 6pm and still nothing. Do you have to be on the phone with me as I do the trigger injection? If not why can’t you call me and give me the instructions beforehand so I don’t have to sit by my phone all day waiting. Also the inability to contact anyone in your office outside of 8-5 M-F when so much goes on outside of that time frame is hugely frustrating.

I would personally never recommend the Utah Fertility Clinic in PG to anyone. They could’ve done so much more to help reduce the anxiety of an already stressful process and yet they seem to do the bare minimum if that.

Also my plan of care nurse expects me to remember the details of a conversation we had 2 months ago when she unloaded a lot of information on us? But also told us not to worry because she would help us out along the way. That has not been the case.

Trying to have an IVF baby during a pandemic is probably not the best of ideas. But in our defense we decided to do it before covid had become an issuue. So I imagine that our experience is probably not a typical one.

For one thing we haven’t met face to face with our plan of care nurse. I imagine that in a more normal situation you would see them more often, maybe not. But because of that lack of face to face contact I would expect there to be more calls, messages, or emails. But there hasn’t been. I know it can be hard once you are deeply entrenched in a profession to forget that not everyone understands your field at the level you do. I think the mark of a true professional, someone who really understands their field, is someone who can anticipate and address foundational questions.

I (we) started injections today. For 10 days we mix two different kinds of fertility drugs at home and inject them into my abdomen to encourage my ovaries to produce more eggs than they normally would during a cycle. This is a critical part of the IVF cycle. I would think the nurse who is in charge of my plan would’ve called me to check in to see if I had any questions, make sure I understood dosing, and that I was doing okay. And I received none of that. Instead when asked at my appointment if I had questions and I said yes, I was given misinformation.

Thankfully I have a loving, supportive, and rational husband who helped us get the right information we needed in the time that we needed it.

I can be really disappointing when you expect help from someone and don’t receive it. To be clear I didn’t just hope that the nurse would be in contact with me she said she would be in contact with me when the time got closer.

I don’t think the answer is to not expect anything from anyone. Clearly the answer is to have good communication. You would think that a business that relies on communicating accurate and timely information would make it a priority.

But of course if you don’t get a baby out of the treatment it’s not their fault so maybe misinformation is not a bad thing for them because then they get more money out of you in the future.

I have felt really down the last couple or weeks. I lack energy and I am not as excited about the things I love.

Is it depression? Potentially. I’ve been there before.

Is the birth control I’m taking for IVF making me feel this way? Potentially, I’ve never taken it before so I don’t really know how my body reacts to it.Is it being stuck at my house unable to see friends and family? Potentially. I don’t have any children of my own and the closest I get are my nieces and nephews. We’ve had to miss a lot of birthdays this past month. Not to mention the hugs and snuggles.

Or perhaps it’s the variable spring weather that keeps me inside instead of being able to go out and work in my yard.

In reality it’s easiest to blame the drugs, after all moodiness and irritability are some of the potential side effects. However, these, plus a hundred other little things, are all confounding factors that could be contributing to my overall mood. I can embrace it as the way I should feel or I can get out of bed and try and do something about it.

We met with our plan of care nurse yesterday. We’ve had the appointment since before things really started to get crazy. We practiced social distancing and had the conversation over the phone.

We discussed the paperwork to fill out, FAQ’s, the schedule, and all of the different medications I’ll be taking and when. It was overwhelming to say the least.

They are unable to do any elective procedures right now but they want us to continue like this worldwide pandemic will be over by May. So she called in our prescriptions to a pharmacy for us to pick up. As well as called a speciality pharmacy to get the fertility drugs. The specialty pharmacy called us within a few minutes of being off the phone with the nurse and told us each of the drugs we will be receiving and how much each costs for a total of almost $3,000 (and that’s with a discount!). The fertility drugs should arrive today in the mail.

This is all happening very fast for something that isn’t happening.